the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
Just text him and be like do you want this pussy or not. You have three seconds to respond.
I know I'm going to throw up tonight it's just a matter of when and where
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Randomize
