I yelled "Coming in hot." before penetrating. Im pretty sure she loved it.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Cover your peen. We're going out.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
Randomize
