she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
he said he has something really important to tell me but isn't ready yet. It's either that he loves me or has herpes
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I smell like Dick and happiness
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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