I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize