So how Liz Lemon is this? I bring a boy home, we get in bed, and I realize there's a lean pocket wrapper in the sheets.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I just Tebowed the shit out of her.
Nice and you can't use "Tebow" in the place of every verb.
Exact words that were just spoken as she was on her 6th, yes 6th piece of bread: "I'm only eating the soft and chewy inside of the bread-I am taking the crust home to feed my turtles"
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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