so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
if drunk means calling me and asking to borrow the game of life at 2am then I think you were drunk
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I don't think a gay three way is the best way to confirm your sexuality.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
On a side note. I slept with a stuffed giraffe last night. Found it in my bed when I came home and snuggled with it. Drunk me reverted to being 2
Its safe now. But... Nobody should sleep on my bed tonight.
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
Randomize