Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
ITS THE CIIIIIIRCLE OF SLUUUUUUUTS
Note to Self: Never again eat a weed brownie by yourself two hours before a tornado warning in your exact location.
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Wait wait wait. You are actually taking advice from this lunatic?
This is the girl who got a balloon full of cocaine through security no questions asked. Of course I'm taking her advice.
Valid.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
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