whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
just saw someone climb out of the dumpster at cvs and start walking down the street like it was completely normal
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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