The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I think we have it figured out.. She's my wife when she's here and gives me advise on how to get ass when she's 1500 miles away.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I used your vibrator when you were out of town. Now I know why you always come out of your room smiling.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
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