and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
Yes. Being a lesbian's wingman is a fun as it sounds
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Randomize
