ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You see.... Im at the point in my life where pissing in a toilet is a luxury for me
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
Soo I'm in the trunk of a car drunk about to jump on trampolines. My life rocks!
Randomize
