I would never have sex with Danny Devito!! JSYK.
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
Randomize
