The world needs more lipstick lesbians, if anything.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
not my fault hes the one that tried to cuddle after. said he wanted to spoon away the shame.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
It's 5AM and I just stirred weed butter into ramen noodles. This is not where I expected to be at 30. ...But, hey, getting high off noodles.
It's like jay gatsby himself preordained that our genitals meet again.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
Randomize
