I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
got woken up at 7:30 by a drunk girl asking me where she was... apparently she slept on my futon
she was in a cheetah costume
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just paid a hobo to give me his Santa hat so I can take Christmas nudes. Will send them later, they're fire.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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