I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
I wish I could just hang out in ERs.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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