oh my god im such an asshole. i just asked the guitarist of bad religion if he was a scalper.
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
and then you seriously asked him to senior prom..which freaked him out since you told him earlier you were 22
I barely even remember him. He is just a distant beard in my past.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
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