god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Randomize