Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
How long is the appropriate time period between a pregnancy scare and breaking up with my girlfriend?
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
