You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
I hope this doesn't become one of those friendships where we dont have sex
I feel if a girl leaves my house the next morning feeling degraded and in desparate need of a shower, then I have succeeded.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
We broke up. And I told him he better give me my fucking star wars movies tomorrow. Priorities.
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I was so drunk I got stuck in the middle of a revolving door
Randomize
