how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
I just wanted a bootycall and now somehow I'm at his parents playing dominoes. But they have tequila so it's cool
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
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