Do you remember when I jumped into your arms and you farted?
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I currently don't understand fingers.
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
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