I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
I'm at verizon, the guy asked me why my phone is full of seeds. Deff. Not leaving my phone with you anymore.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I'd like to be surprised that there's a picture of someone pouring champagne in my boobs on Instagram, but I can't.
Am I really that high, or did I just spray febreeze outside ?
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
Randomize
