Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
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