i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
the upside of dating someone over 21: he can buy me a pregnancy test AND a bottle of wine when he goes to cvs for me
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Guess whose hungry like a hippo: this bitch.
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
