i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
IDK who she called, but some guy came into the party, flying drop kicked Joe said never again. She has to invite him around again.
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
Sorry about my life...
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Randomize
