and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
You just begged me to mute the porn and watch her ass bounce while listening to dubstep the whole time.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
I just opened my filing cabinet at work for the first time in months. It looks just like my pantry: nothing but peanut butter and whiskey.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
But I got head on a boat yesterday which was sweet until a bald eagle flew over. Then it became life affirming.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
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