5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I don't understand why she gets annoyed by my drunk texts. It means she's who I'm thinking about even when my brain isn't functioning properly.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Tony's mom to him at breakfast: "I found the shirt you wore last night in the bushes this morning."
I just realized I'm having shark week, during shark week.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
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