I wish my grandma would stop using the phrase "he pulled out" when she's talking about her contractor quitting his job.
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
