So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
im so drunk with asians
where?
always
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Fuck me this girl I went home with has a cover on her remote control so there is no spills to ruin it. Imagine how many condoms she's going to make me wear
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Randomize
