Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I got arrested for "public intoxication". Fuckers threw me out of the bar into public... i mean shit they have thirsty Thursdays. And I get thrown out for self serve Sundays plus a citation.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
OMG -- There are strippers in the bathroom crying because their power moves aren't good enough to win the competition
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
No more bourbon. Sleep now. I may die. Pray for me.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
I got so pissed i stormed off and threw his burrito on his windshield
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