The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
Maury Povich's contact info is in our database at work...i should steal it right?
Surefire way to sober up: discover that your car is being towed at 2 am.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
I ended up at these random girls' house they are smoking weed out of a gun
When one is stoned and browsing online dating profiles all men sound like serial killers.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
Randomize
