she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Okay. Did anyone see me spend $1600 at the strip club last night? Or is this someone else's receipt in my pocket?
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I yelled kanye while he was fucking me. It just felt right
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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