My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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