I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
nothing can go wrong this weekend. $1500 to spend. i have options for hookups every night. my backup plans have backup plans
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
