My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
Randomize
