I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
Randomize
