what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
Rumble strips road head = magical
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
Randomize
