I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
of all the people in our graduating class, this is exactly who would get pregnant.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
Randomize
