she was trying to give me a handjob in biology class while we were learning about the penis.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I mean seriously with your cock and my tits combined we could rule the world. Pinky and the brain style
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize