Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Give me a few hours to remember what being sober feels like.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I can't be here...my therapist just watched me take tequila shots
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Lexi was drunk enough at 2pm to say "fuck tom brady and fuck you too" to literally every person at the store in Pats attire.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Randomize
