By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I cant be sure, but i think ive been drunk in this church before.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
Tequila Tuesday.. tonight is the night I defeat the liquor.
I have class at 8:30 and I am not bailing you out of the drunk tank again.
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
So I woke up really sad and then I looked in the cabinet and there was weed and now I'm not sad anymore
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
