i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
would really like to know how the teddy bear got super glued to my testicles.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Well, a cop just pulled up. This could go either way.
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Walk of shame through Chipotle? Check.
Randomize
