Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
he high fived his dick after we had sex
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize
