It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
I ended up in bed with a man from London in a sorority wing I am not apart of. Tequila fucks you up
Started out playing table tennis then ended up fucking him on the table. Happy cinco de mayo
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
How many more of your relationships do I have to destroy before you realize sleeping with me isn't a good idea?
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
Randomize
