I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
Apparently I mistakenly called the hair club for men at 3am... they called me back this morning.
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
Just threw up in the MSO airport men's room. We're at that point this morning.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Randomize
