Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
i now understand why vodka
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
