We won't sleep together?
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Come my child we shall walk thru the pasture of amazing sex and corndogs. Hint:some corndogs are not corndogs.
IT'S LIKE SHE TAKES SECRET KUNG FU CUNT LESSONS AND THEN BRUCE LEES ALL OVER EVERYONE.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He got a new tattoo in prison. It's actually a good tattoo, making it that much harder for me to hold out until he's off house arrest.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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