dude, that chick is coming to see me and stay for 2 nights. I'm hitting the 3rd in the trifecta of friends.
You're one hell of a depraved bastard dude, I'm borderline speechless. You officially win.
They all have matching tattoos so they're all official bffs. I love my life.
do herpes really smell.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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