i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
I can always see lesbian subplot. It's my hero ability.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
Randomize
