do herpes really smell.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
You're seeing with your vagina, not your eyes.
Last nights hook up turn into a star wars history lesson.. He's luck y he's pretty..
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
When I came out of the bathroom you were naked dead asleep on the couch but your dick was still rock hard standing straight up. I almost took a pic. It was impressive.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize