So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
