And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
Idk, it's Grover wearing a sombrero. Do I need a reason?
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
Just remember: We don't tell our English professor about our fetishes unless she specifically asks about them.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
So I don't think the seahorse breeding thing is gonna work.
That was random, even for you Mom.
i woke up with blood and cuts on my face and i don't remember anything after winning four games of beer pong in a row last night. and i'm still drunk.
you are a true champion. bear my children.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
Randomize