I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
WHY does every guy I sleep with want to fix my car?!
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
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