We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
On monday, while we were having crazy monkey sex, I earned $82. Vacation pay rocks.
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
He was late, on account of he accidentally went to the Al-Anon meeting across the hall, and it took him 30 minutes to realize he was in the wrong room.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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