Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
NO FUCKBOY SHALL PASS OPERATION #BITCHMODE HAS SUCCEEDED
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
