Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
To celebrate your birthday last night, I got drunk and sang drift away in buffalo wild wings. Happy birthday. The entire bar sang the chorus with me. It was magical.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
we're tipping the strippers with chocolate coins.
Randomize