apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
WE SHOULD FUCK TWO GUYS THAT LIVE TOGETHER
THAT WOULD BE SO CONVENIENT WE COULD CARPOOL
The creepiest man is serenading me at the bar right now. I had about a quarter of a drink left and the bartender just walked over and filled it with vodka and walked away laughing.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
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