If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Doing the walk of shame and bringing my dad a newspaper en route. Favourite daughter status confirmed.
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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