So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
a lady just got escorted out of the bar because she came in carrying a can of gasoline while smoking a cigarette....this place is the definition of class
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
2 men making out for 2 seconds to trick a cop so they don't get arrested for being pulled over rolling a blunt is not gay.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
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