From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Oh shit. The kids are pole dancing on a broom. It's like I'm seeing my future offspring before my eyes.
I need to sleep with 3 more guys by midnight to meet my 2010 resolution..
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
I just listened to "Eye of the Tiger" and did 5 shots to prep going over to see him.
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
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