Bullshit. I know you're watching The Dog Whisperer
That Cesar Milan is captivating
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Correct me if I'm wrong but the photo album titles "cause I've been drankin" and "baby jessica" should not belong to the same person.
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
But in the grand scheme of things, "should i bang a hot roommate or a sexy giant" is really not a bad lot in life
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
