Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
I also tried to drunkenly adopt a kitten last night. It didn't pan out.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
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