I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
SO DRUNK
PUKED IN DRIVEWAY
TELL PARENTS SORRY
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
Idk, but the girl in his story had really nice eyebrows and was singing The Climb. How about you CLIMB the fuck away from my man
FORGET THE EYEBROWS
Randomize
